The most important thing parents have to do is to raise their children to adults without screwing them up. What happens to children especially those under ten, because that’s the most impressionable age, stays with them for the rest of their lives.
My mother always maintained that I ‘had a roof over my head, was warm and fed’. I’m sorry mother, but that isn’t enough, we do that sort of thing for pet rabbits. What I do not remember, ever, is any sort of affection. Maybe she couldn’t show affection because her mother never gave her any. That’s understandable but sometimes we have to make the effort to ‘break the mould’. One of the worst things a parent can do is brainwash their children against the other parent.
They don’t have to be separated for that to happen – my grandmother ‘brainwashed’ my mother against her father – but nowadays it is more common as at least half of all marriages end in divorce. The level headed majority acknowledge that children need their father/mother even though they may well hate their ex partner.
Those parents don’t attempt to ‘brainwash’ their children against the other parent because they are intelligent enough to realise it is counter productive and the child will make their own minds up eventually. Any nastiness will only come back and bite them on the nose with the child ultimately disliking the ‘brainwashing’ parent.
Using children as a ‘weapon’ when a couple part is the ultimate child rearing sin. I have a couple of friends (both women) where their ex-husbands have ‘brainwashed’ the children and used them as weapons. In both cases the ex’s are truly deranged individuals and accomplished liars. They are so good at it that they can convince outsiders that they are normal decent people. In truth they are truly evil, and not just because brainwashing children is an evil thing to do but because of their manipulation and outrageous lies.
The tragedy is that the children are growing up to be horrendously damaged individuals. My son’s ex wife is trying to brainwash her children against my son and myself in a big way. She is also manipulative and an outrageous liar.
She perjured herself in court the other day – after swearing on the bible – without batting an eyelid. She also perjured herself in the Family Court when she said I had a ‘drink problem’. Anyone who knows me would agree that it is not true. The problem with that type of person – including my two friends ex husbands is that they are so goddam self righteous that they are blinded by the light of reason.
I don’t tell lies but one of the first thing these people will do is accuse everyone else of lying. Everything I have written is the truth. Two little boys did pour their hearts out in telling myself and a lady friend what they said in ‘When Will They Ever Learn#1. They were not lying, they desperately wanted to get it out. Now they are being brainwashed and intimidated.
Finally I will explain the purpose of these postings; it makes me feel better after suffering years of nastiness from the xDiL without being able to respond. I do know that those mentioned have read this website and will read as far as this posting at least. That’s down to human nature.
Everything I write will be factual and truthful just as everything I have written so far is. The further I go back I may only remember the ‘headlines’ but I will try to be objective and will try not to put a ‘spin’ on things. I will not knowingly write something that is not true. And remember at the end of the day ‘light is always stronger than the dark’.